Finding A Quiet Place

February 22, 2024February 22, 2024 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

Lorelei Savaryn reflects on the wisdom of finding quiet places, even when life is full.

This letter is free for you to read, but it took time and energy to produce. If you’re interested in supporting the work of This Catholic Family, I would be honored if you would prayerfully consider upgrading your subscription. Or, you can always buy me a coffee here.

Since beginning spiritual direction last year, I have been learning more about and practicing Lectio Divina, a meditative kind of prayer where I immerse myself in a section of scripture. As a convert, this kind of praying was new for me. In my life as an Evangelical most of my prayer was me talking to Jesus. Lectio Divina is a lot of listening, and it is also a lot of just, as my spiritual director calls it, “wasting time with God.”

Of late, it has caught my attention during these prayers how often in the Gospels Jesus goes to a quiet place to be alone, or at least tries to. He has a difficult time finding solitude because of how intensely the people are pulled to Him, but still, time and time again, He withdraws to a quiet place. How like motherhood, I think, as I read these stories. It seems that almost every time I try to find some quiet, a little person comes near and needs something from me, whether it be a cup of milk or a hug. We sacrifice a lot of solitude as mothers, for the absolute best of reasons, and we can relate very much to Jesus in that.

But I also think there is wisdom to be found in the fact that Jesus continues to make time to at least try to step away. Moving ourselves out from under the noise of the day to day, even for a little while, is beautiful, and it can be healing, especially when interwoven with prayer.

It is my goal during this Lent to try more intentionally to make space for quiet places. And to hopefully meet Jesus there sometimes. Our barriers to finding quiet might look different from person to person, from home to home, but below is a list of some ideas on how we can carve out more solitude in our busy days as mothers.

I find that I lose a lot of potentially quiet moments scrolling social media. It isn’t always filled with physical noise, but it does bring in a mental noise that grabs at my attention, turning it this way and that. Perhaps choosing to not scroll, or to make set times each day when we avoid it will allow us to more easily dip our toes into a quiet place.
I used to take short walks when my firstborn was a baby, and even those little stretches of time helped a lot in the middle of the fog of new motherhood. That baby is now twelve, and there are three others besides, and I find I’m still so quick to make an excuse to stay inside. Maybe it’s too cold, or too windy, or not sunny enough, but I also know that whenever I still step outside and take a short stroll, it does wonders. To hear the wind in the trees, and the birds chirping…there isn’t much else like it. Maybe it’s possible to prioritize stepping away from everything for a short while a few times a week to take a solo stroll.
I love listening to music. Listening to songs has always been therapeutic for me, and is one of my favorite forms of worship. I also find that more often than not, when I am in the minivan by myself, one of the first things I do is turn on the radio or hit play on a podcast. There’s an opportunity for quiet there as well. Maybe we get so used to our vehicle being a noisy place, that its strange when we aren’t accompanied by the noise of our kids. But I wonder what would happen if I let myself drive in the quiet for a little while … if I didn’t turn on the noise.

These are just a few suggestions that show up often in my life that I hope might be helpful. Perhaps others among us have different noise inputs in any given day, or maybe other moms have noise sources that they default to in a world where it can sometimes feel like the only response to being overstimulated is to find a way to zone out with a different source of stimulation.

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Moving ourselves out from under the noise of the day to day, even for a little while, is beautiful, and it can be healing, especially when interwoven with prayer. #CatholicMom

But I also think that Lent is a great time to examine our lives when held up to the life of Christ. And we know that he prioritized solitude, moving away from the noise, on a regular basis. He did it when he was able to steal away, and he did it still even if the people still found him. Jesus’ pursuit of solitude teaches us that there is value to be found in seeking the quiet. There is value for us as mothers to find quiet spaces in our days and weeks. May the pursuit, and the times we enter into the quiet, draw us closer to Him.

-Lorelei

Heaven’s Light Shining Through

December 19, 2023December 19, 2023 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

Lorelei Savaryn reflects upon a visit to the shrine of Our Lady of Champion during Advent.

This letter is free for you to read, but it wasn’t free for me to produce. If you’re interested in supporting the work of This Catholic Family, I would be honored if you would prayerfully consider upgrading your subscription. Or, you can always buy me a coffee here.

Our Lady of Champion is located in the middle of Wisconsin dairyland, a set of buildings and curated grounds surrounded by cattle and fields. I grew up less than 30 minutes from there, the only approved Marian Apparition site in the USA. I don’t remember ever realizing this, though I must have driven past the signs on the roads when I was out on that side of town. On a recent visit to the Green Bay area, our family was finally able to visit this site for the very first time.

I used to associate the word apparition with ghosts when I was a kid, and therefore the idea of a Marian apparition took on a strange, unsettling nature during my life before my Catholic conversion. I’ve since learned that many words that meant certain things to me as an evangelical: words like prayer, worship, veneration, and apparition, to name a few, have taken on new, more profound layers of meaning since becoming Catholic. For example, apparition doesn’t need to have anything to do with ghosts—it has to do with an appearance, and in the case of Marian apparitions, the appearance of the Mother of our Lord.

The story of Champion, and Adele, and God’s call to her through Mary to teach children the faith, inspired our family during our visit. The oratory, a darkened below-ground space lit with the glow of hundreds of candles, drew us all into prayer. Even our 4-year-old wrote the letters she knew on a prayer card and left her intentions to the heart of God and Mary. Behind a large statue of Mary, there is a cabinet filled with relics from the apostles and many beloved saints.

It felt particularly moving to visit this site for the very first time during Advent. Advent is a season of waiting and a season of hope. It leads us forward toward the moment when the light of heaven shot down to earth in the dazzling ray of our Savior being born, of God entering into humanity so that everyone could see Him and know Him, the author of our salvation.

There are frequent moments in the story of the Christian faith where heaven breaks through and sends its light down to us. Many such occasions are recorded in the Bible: the angels appearing to the shepherds, the Transfiguration, Saul’s conversion, and more. Our visit to Our Lady of Champion reminded us all that heaven still breaks through into our world, rays of light piercing our everyday existence and reminding us of God and all he has done. Of the work he calls us to do. Of His abundant love for us all.

As mothers, we are all called to teach our children the faith, just as Mary helps to teach us, just as Mary called Adele in the farmlands of Champion, Wisconsin over a century ago. As Christians, we are called to hope in something greater than ourselves. We are called to trust in the Love that came down, breaking through our darkness. And we are grateful for the ways that God still shows us his glory through the witness of the saints, through the sacraments, and through visitations from those in heaven, especially His immaculate Mother.

Let us draw near to the heart of Mary during this holy Advent season, and to listen to her guidance for our hearts and our lives, as we wait for the Savior to come.

– Lorelei

Navigating Aging While my Daughters Look On

October 21, 2023October 20, 2023 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

As I write this, I’m in my late thirties and I’m beginning to notice some signs of age when I look in the mirror. There are a few gray hairs, there are lines on my face that didn’t used to be there. My skin is sagging in places where it never used to sag. There are moments where I see a little glimpse of my grandma in the mirror more than the younger versions of me.

And as I notice these changes, I also am ever aware of the three little girls in my home who watch the things I do, the things that I say. Girls who are getting their roadmap for how to live, for how to be a woman, from me—their mom.

Something that I noticed about myself immediately was that my first thoughts about my aging body were that I need to hide it, I need to fix it, I need to do something about it. I think a lot of that gut reaction comes from the culture I live in. It’s a culture with an entire industry focused on erasing the signs of aging, that’s obsessed with eternal youth. Anti-wrinkle, anti-aging, anti-dark spots, anti-gray hair. The messaging is so loud that I didn’t even have to try for it to embed itself in my mind.

Something that was really helpful for me was to become aware of those internalized reactions, and instead of accepting those messages as true, to question them. To pause a moment and wonder: how do I wish my daughters would think about themselves when they reach this stage of life?

Whatever the answer, I had a strong feeling that I needed to retrain myself so I can model graceful and grateful aging for them somehow.

I know that we are a body and soul composite, and our bodies are deeply a part of who we are as beings made in the image of God. Our bodies matter. They matter in many ways, especially because our bodies are how we experience the world around us, how we live our story. And when I started thinking about our bodies as the keepers of our stories, I began to find a new way to look at the signs of aging in myself.

That, in turn, is helping me talk about aging with my daughters.

As an example, one of my daughters recently pointed to the crinkle lines beside my eyes and asked why I have lines there. I leaned over and smiled and showed her that when I smile, my skin folds into little rays shooting out from the corners of my eyes. I told her that our faces show our feelings, and, after a long time, they remember our feelings, too. The lines around my eyes means that I’ve smiled a lot, and my face remembers it. My face helps to tell my story.

Another time, another daughter asked me about my stretch marks. I was able to tell her that my body had to make room for each of the four babies I made, and that my stretch marks show that part of my body’s story, a part that I’m grateful for every single day.

I think graceful aging can mean different things to different people, but I do know deep down that age is something to be proud of. Not everyone gets to grow old, and I don’t want to pass along the message that we absolutely need to hide our age, or fix it, or do something about it.

Click to tweet:
I want my daughters to one day look at their aging faces and to be kind. To be grateful for the stories their bodies tell. #CatholicMom

In thinking about how I want my daughters to react when they begin to see signs of their own aging in the mirror, more than anything, I realized, I want my daughters to one day look at their aging faces and to be kind. To be grateful for the stories their bodies tell. And I hope to help them along that path, and to help myself, by modeling that now and giving them a different message than the anti-aging industry proclaims. I want them to remember their mother looking in the mirror and smiling, and talking about her wrinkles, and showing gratitude for all the things her body has done and continues to do. And I hope they choose to do the same.

-Lorelei

How Saint Zélie Helped Me Stop Comparing Myself to Other Moms

July 12, 2023July 11, 2023 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

Today is the feast day of Saint Zélie Martin, and while I am no liturgical living professional, this is one of the feast days I always like to mark with a little something special.

A little bit of background on Saint Zélie. She and her husband Louis were both on a path toward religious life when they met each other and learned that God had asked them both to the vocation of marriage together. They had nine children, four of which who died while very young. Her surviving five children all went into religious life, the most well-known of which is St. Thérèse of Lisieux. She saw a lot of hardship. She and her husband are a great example of a holy marriage. She ran her own very successful lace business as well.

I learned about St. Zélie’s canonization and named our fourth baby Zelie in honor of her. Since then, St. Zelie has held a very special place in my heart, one that I lean in to and understand a bit more with each passing year of life, in particular as I grow in my understanding of my vocation as a mom.

The Temptation to Compare

Ever since becoming a mom eleven years ago, I have been fighting some sort of comparison battle inside my mind and my heart, all while trying to figure out my own identity as a mother. In the early years, the question of what should a Christian mom look like? loomed large. When I converted, I substituted the word Christian for Catholic and continued to ask.

Some of the churches we attended and people we hung out with had stronger messages for us than others. You need to stay at home, you need to homeschool, you need to coupon, you need to clean with vinegar, you need to bake your own bread, you need to not have a job, you need to have a side gig that contributes to your income, you need to remember all the liturgical things, you need to pray the rosary every day with your children, you need to keep a lovely home…these messages and more swarmed, faster and faster, louder and louder. Some of the messages contradicted other messages entirely.

Social media did not help.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Why We Recruit

Now, not all the moms I compared myself to were actively recruiting their lifestyle as the absolute only way to be a Catholic or Christian mom, they were often just sharing from their passion and joy, which is a lovely thing to behold. Some, however, were. Some of the messages were more implicit in the church or online community, but still there.

And I think I get why we as humans are sometimes tempted to take what works for us and prescribe it for others, especially in motherhood. Motherhood is so intimate, so vulnerable, and so personal. We don’t want to mess it up. It isn’t comfortable to look around us and feel like we’re the only ones doing what we’re doing. The moms I know, myself included, are often questioning our decisions on a pretty regular basis. Is it the right call to stay home? Is it the right call for me to work? The right call to homeschool/private school/public school? And the list goes on.

It can feel a lot less lonely to be part of a pack. Finding or recruiting people with likeminded philosophies says “You do what I do, and that affirms that I picked the right thing. Then I’m doing it the right way.”

A Different Path

My suggestion isn’t that we stop talking about or sharing the things we’ve found helpful, or the mothering style that brings us joy. My suggestion is that we avoid saying that the way God has asked us to live out this vocation is the way that God is asking all women to live out this vocation. And, for those of us on the receiving end, that we reframe how these messages impact us.

Turns out, St. Zélie didn’t stay home full time. She also had in-house help. She ran a business. Her kids began their education at home for a time. Learning about St. Zélie’s life helped me see that she didn’t live like any one cookie cutter Catholic mom box, and she became a Saint. Her life helped me feel free to live the unique Catholic motherhood I am called to each day.

For me, that has looked like staying home when a new baby is very young, but eventually returning to work. My jobs are usually in education, and allow me a similar schedule as the kids. The professional fulfillment makes me a better wife and mom at the end of the day. I am a creative person, and I need a creative outlet. Mostly, that outlet comes in finding time to write. I write short and long essays for the web, and I write fiction books for young readers. Sometimes I play with watercolor markers. Sometimes I read. I am also an introvert. That means I need to carve aside time to be alone. My family can tell if I’ve gone too long without a little stretch by myself, and it is okay that some alone time is important to me. When those things are in place, all the family stuff…the family dinners, the bedtime stories and prayer, the request for a push on the swing, all of that is better and richer and more vibrant because I am embracing and respecting who God made me to be as a person and therefore as a mom.

This realization, that we have never been meant to do it one specific way, completely changed my view. I was able to admire and respect the Catholic moms with particular approaches or particular strengths. Hooray for the liturgically awesome mom! The aesthetic home mom! The daily rosary mom! The homeschooling mom! And hooray for me and the mom I am too!

It was incredibly freeing to be able to separate the idea that I have to do what other moms do, and to celebrate the diversity of Catholic motherhood that exists. It was exciting to realize that doing Catholic motherhood in the way that matched the way God made me and my unique family was not going to look like a carbon copy of another family, another Catholic mom, but that all these things could be very, very good.

Some Questions For The Journey

As mothers, we can too often absorb the message of unhealthy self-denial. Yes, of course we are supposed to deny ourselves in terms of offering ourselves up for the good of another. But we also are meant to become fully who God made us to be, and the things God has put inside our hearts are intrinsically good. Intrinsically unique. And they are meant to shine.

Here are some questions to consider as we all continue on the journey toward embracing and growing into the person God made us to be.

When do you feel most alive as a person, woman, and mother? Under what circumstances do you see the world in full color? When does your heart feel so full it might just burst? When are you most grateful? What things do you long for, and what might those longings teach you about yourself? What might a life look like for you and your family that integrates your uniqueness? Whether your have felt pressure from yourself or from others, what steps can you take to let go of that now?

None of us are meant to be copies of another woman, another Catholic mom. We are all meant to be glorious and beautiful in our uniqueness. We are meant to celebrate each other, to lift each other up.

Like snowflakes, no two of us are the same.

St. Zélie, pray for us.

Amen

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On Not Taking it Personally When our Kids Fail

February 26, 2023 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

Historically, I have struggled when the young people in my care make poor choices. I have tended to take their decisions personally, and to see those moments as a failure on my part, thinking that their choices reflect badly on me.

As a parent, this has caused me to turn inward on myself, ruminating on how I am failing my kids and students, because, obviously, if I weren’t, they would be perfect little saints.

Even writing that sentence, I have to smile. Because removed from the heat of the moment, I can see how silly it is to think that. But in the moment itself, that is exactly the kind of thinking I have tended to engage in. If my children or students choose poorly, then, to me, that means I am somehow failing as a parent or teacher.

However, in doing this, I make my place in the grand scheme of things distorted, larger than life, out of proportion. As if me doing everything right (an impossible task) will somehow result in the people in my care doing everything right as well.

When I set myself back down in my proper place amongst the bigger picture, and zoom out even a little bit, I can gain a better perspective.

For example, it isn’t God’s fault that we choose to sin. It isn’t a bad reflection on God, and it doesn’t mean that God is anything less than a good, good Father to us.

In fact, our ability to choose is a reflection of His goodness to us.

Those opportunities to choose—even if we choose wrongly, are chances to learn and carve away those parts of ourselves that are not yet fully conformed to love. It allows us to choose love in the first place. We need to see the difference between where we are now and where we have the potential to be so we know how to orient ourselves moving forward. Our failures are a beautiful opportunity to learn and to move closer to Him.

The same applies to me and my relationships with my children and students. As a person entrusted with young people both in my home and in my classroom, I am learning to view these opportunities as a gift. When they make poor choices, I can get a good look at areas where my children and students have an opportunity to grow in character and holiness. And I have the honor of helping to guide them on that path.

Click to tweet:
Our failures are a beautiful opportunity to learn and to move closer to Him. #catholicmom

Those moments have, in some ways, very little to do with me at all, other than the fact that they are opportunities for me to step up in my role as one who guides young people, and to help them turn back to love. To grow their virtue muscles. To help them see the difference between who they are today and who they can be, and to spur them forward. To encourage them. To help light the way.

When I view things like that, I put myself in my proper place. I put their choices in their proper place. And I can even rejoice at this thing called Free Will, and the opportunity it offers us to be sanctified throughout our lives so, when the time comes, we will be ready to meet God, Love itself, with arms wide open.

And so, in the end, it isn’t a poor reflection on me when the youth in my care make the wrong choice. In fact, it is an honor to be present, and to be ever at the ready to help.

-Lorelei

Note: This article originally appeared on Catholic Mom

Carving Time For Rest

February 25, 2023 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

As an introvert mom to four and Catholic school teacher, I know two things to be true. I love working with youth and being a mom. I also know that I am often overstimulated, and that in order to do my job and my parenting well, I need to set aside regular time to rest.

Easier said than done in the day-to-day hustle and bustle, but when I don’t rest, many of my less-than-amazing traits shine through. The impatience, the feeling overwhelmed, the irritability. The need has always been there, but rest has looked different at different phases of life for me. There hasn’t been a magic rest recipe that has worked well all the time. There have been times when I have tried to rigidly schedule rest, but I found that certain days I need certain things more than others, and sometimes the scheduled “rest” didn’t match what I needed at all, and therefore it felt more like a burden than anything else.

So I let go of the rigidity, and recently, here is what I’ve done that I’ve found helpful. And I hope some of you may find it helpful, too.

I started by making a list of things that recharge me. Things that, for me, constitute as rest. Some items on the list were a hot bath, reading a book, enjoying a nice glass of wine with my husband, writing or creating something, taking a walk, prayer, journaling, just sitting in a quiet space, taking a nap, doing a workout, and so on.

And then, rather than sticking to some regimented schedule of predetermined rest activities, I allow myself the freedom to choose what would best help me in that given moment. I do this by taking care to be mindful throughout the week of how I’m feeling. Am I overstimulated? Maybe I need to let my husband take care of making dinner so I can go enjoy a quiet bath when he gets home from work. Am I low energy? Some days, I might cure feeling tired with an energetic workout. Others, I may shut my eyes for a little while for a nap.

I’ve learned that right now a lot of my rest involves accepting the introvert inside me and stepping away from people for a little while, whatever that looks like. When I do that, I’m much better for everyone when I return.

One thing that remains relatively constant is setting aside regular time to pray. This often happens early in the morning, before the rest of the house has stirred. It’s not natural for me to get up at 5:00 AM, or even 5:30, but it is the best chance I have at quiet before the day begins for everyone else in my home. I do this four or five times per week, and it acts as an anchor to my days.

Click to tweet:
It can be very easy for us moms to push aside our need for rest, to put the needs of others above our own. #CatholicMom

It can be very easy for us moms to push aside our need for rest, to put the needs of others above our own. I often smile when I think that even God rested, and I feel the value of rest in my soul when I see how much better I am for those I love and serve when I prioritize resting too.

Rest will not look the same for every person, and it probably won’t look the same every day, but if we can take time to recognize the things that recharge us, and allow ourselves to take the time when needed, then I trust that we are better equipped to live our calling in whatever phase of life God has us in today.

(Note: This article originally appeared on Catholic Mom)

Different Kinds of Catholic Moms

December 4, 2022 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

I think how we raise our kids in the faith is likely formed, at least to some extent, by how we were raised in our own. If we had a good experience that developed a rich faith life, or if we encountered struggles or poor examples or formation in some way still lingers in our minds and in our hearts.

There are moms who do an amazing job at liturgical living, or who are faithfully and frequently found with rosary beads in their hands. Moms who take their kids to Adoration often, to Confession often. Moms who homeschool and love it.

Since converting to Catholicism in 2016, I have tried on many different Catholic-mom hats. We do love celebrating liturgical days and feasts, but not all of them. We do love praying the Rosary, but it’s not my most frequent devotion. We love going to family Adoration, and would love to do that more often than we have. There were many parts about homeschooling that I loved, but in January of this year we enrolled our kids at a local Catholic school and I am beginning work there as a teacher. That particular move has been better for our family in many ways.

At first, I think I felt like I wasn’t a complete Catholic mom, in some ways, because I didn’t fit neatly into one of the boxes I had created in my mind about what a Catholic mom should be. But over this past year, that has changed. I am realizing that Catholic moms come in as wide a variety as the women who embody that name.

And, for me, I have come to accept that the thing that I lean most into as a Catholic mom is encouraging my kids to think deeply about the faith, to ask good, rich questions, and then to walk them down a path of knowing that there are deep, good, rich answers to be found. I also want them to love the liturgy, to see the beauty in ritual and tradition, and to know that we are connected profoundly to the Christians who have come before us.

This is likely formed by my childhood growing up in a fundamentalist-leaning but also somehow charismatic evangelical church. I was taught that faith and science are sometimes at odds with each other. I didn’t know there was depth to be found past the basic tenets of the Gospel, and when I became an adult my despair that there may not be deep answers to be found lead me towards agnosticism.

My husband had similar experiences within the Catholic Church, where he grew up knowing the rules but not understanding why they were there.

So, together, it has become very important for us to let our kids ask questions, to explain the whys of our faith, and then to hope and to trust that when they go off on their own some years from now, that they will find they have a firm foundation to stand on. My prayer is that they will feel safe at home.

I am the It’s okay to wonder and ask deep questions kind of Catholic mom, along with a sprinkling of the other kinds too. And that’s one of the beautiful things about our faith: that rich diversity is what makes the Church. God has given us each unique passions and gifts and calls, and we can all be ourselves fully within our Catholic home.

Click to tweet:
What parts of your faith formation impact how you raise your kids as Catholics? #catholicmom

I’d love to learn what you lean into in your motherhood as a Catholic.

What parts of our faith bring you joy to share with your children?

What parts of your faith formation impact how you raise your kids as Catholics?

-Lorelei

Note: This article originally appeared on Catholic Mom.

When The Idea of Homemaking Makes You Cringe A Little Bit

October 14, 2022 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

As someone who has spent most of my life in the Evangelical world, and who has spent the last few years in the Catholic world, ‘homemaking’ is something I’ve heard often in both places. There are books written about homemaking and podcasts about it. People talk about it—and we seem to all know what the idea of homemaking means.

When I think of the word homemaking, it conjures up images of throw pillows, and softly slung blankets across the arms of chairs. Fresh baked muffins and clean floors. Cute little artsy things on the walls and mantel that were probably purchased from Target or Hobby Lobby. A friend and I were talking recently about how even those more ‘surface’ level connotations are kind of difficult to swallow sometimes, especially if there are stains all over your pillows and couches from grubby little fingers, or if you don’t enjoy hanging cutesy things on the walls.

But there are some deeper connotations, too, and I wonder if other women feel the same way.

It’s not that I don’t want to make my house a home, it’s that I don’t want to feel like ‘home’ has to look a certain way for me to fit my identity as a Catholic Christian woman.

We stopped homeschooling in January, and that has been the best thing for our family. I haven’t always been a stay-at-home mom. I’m currently the owner of a mobile children’s bookshop and an author of middle-grade novels, but I’ve also been a teacher. Our home has looked different in all of those seasons, but I don’t think that at any point it has been any more or less a home.

Sometimes my husband does the laundry. Never do either of us iron any of our clothes unless we’re going to a wedding. I can’t sew anything more than a button. I am horrible with yeast. Do not ask me to make anything that requires ‘rising’ because it will not work. But these are all things that I’ve felt, at one time or another, has been presented as the proper way to make a home by women in faith communities, both Evangelical and Catholic.

I think it may be helpful for us to reframe our idea of what homemaking means. To broaden it, and give it room to breathe. To create space for the diversity of women of faith, our unique gifts and strengths, and the different phases of our lives.

What about leaving the floor for later and going outside to play with your kids? That’s homemaking too. Really, really good homemaking. What about letting the grubby little fingerprints on the fridge go so you can sit down with a coffee and read a book? That’s homemaking, because our peace of mind impacts everyone else. What about letting go of the expectation that we need to entertain our kids all the time to the point that we burn out, and accept that creating a stable home with a predictable routine is also making a home?

Click to tweet:
A pretty house can be an indicator of a true home, but it also can cover up struggle. #catholicmom

While I personally love a good throw pillow, having seasonal throw pillows does not make a home. I am a big fan of creative ways to display pumpkins in the fall, but having decorative pumpkins is not in any way the essence of homemaking either. I’ve seen too many situations that look amazing on the surface, but when you peel back a few layers, you see a lot of brokenness and hurt. A pretty house can be an indicator of a true home, but it also can cover up struggle. And when we equate these superficial, first world Christian Woman expectations with being a Good Catholic Mother, then I think that leaves room for us to hide the struggles, or puts pressure on us to do things that may not be our strengths.

In the end, true homemaking is about a safe, and joy-filled, and peaceful home where hearts are safe to grow into what God made them to be.

That’s it, that is homemaking. That is making a home.

I’d love to hear what you think about homemaking—if it’s a concept you’ve embraced (which is great, if that’s you!), if it’s a word that you also struggle with, or if you just have never carried the emotional burdens like I have (haha). I’d love to know your thoughts.

Five Home and Decor Ideas for Catholic Moms

January 20, 2022 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ 3 Comments

I’ve been finding great joy lately leaning into my “Catholic Mom-ness.” The list below is built of little, thoughtful things beyond the crucifixes and rosaries that are often found in a Catholic home. They have made me smile time and time again in the middle of the noise that is raising and homeschooling our four kids.

Enjoy!

St. Zelie Motherhood T-Shirt

One of my favorite Saints of all time is St. Zelie Martin. In fact, I admire her so much that we have a daughter named Zelie! So when I found this shirt, containing one of Zelie’s quotes that has most inspired me as a parent, I had to put it on my Christmas list this year. The fabric is so soft, which is an added bonus! Available on Etsy and CaelistiCo.com.

Do What Makes You Holy Wall Art

Our culture promotes the god of happiness pretty much everywhere we look. “This toy will make you happy, this skin cream will make you happy, this car will make you happy.” We’re trying very hard to teach our kids that the only thing that will truly make them happy is God, and growing into the person He created them to be. We’ve hung this wall art in a prominent position in the hall that everyone passes by multiple times a day as a sweet yet poignant reminder.

Hardy Design Boutique, a lovely Catholic shop on Etsy, offers this sentiment as a keychain, sticker, and sometimes wall art as well.

For $5, Rosebud Print Design also offers a printable download of this beautiful truth that you can frame yourself.

Raising Saints Requires More Coffee Mug

I use this mug from Cause Of Our Joy Studio almost daily! It reminds me of the truth that I am raising my children for God, but that it is a big task, and that coffee can be helpful. And when things get a bit overwhelming, it makes me smile and brings me back to the most important things.

Salve Regina Candle

I think we moms can sometimes tend to brush aside self-care in favor of giving everything to our families. I got this candle from House of Joppa recently in order to remind myself that part of being a good mom is making sure I take care of myself, too. It has become my frequent companion when the 2-year-old is napping and I take a bit of time to sit and read. Little moments can become luxuries with intentional details like the gorgeous scent of this candle, built of roses, black currant, and sunshine.

There are so many fun and innovative ways to embrace Catholic living, direct from amazing Catholic creators! #catholicmom

Saint Wall Art

If you’re looking for fresh artistic representations of the saints to display in your home, then MrsTorresCreates on Etsy might just be the shop for you. Each member of our family has either a first or middle name after a saint, and we ordered a beautiful colored print of each saint from this shop to frame and put on the wall of our house, with a metal “Pray for Us” sign directly above it. I love classic representations of the saints as well, but these paintings fit so nicely with the aesthetic of our home, and I was delighted to find the great variety of saints the artist has available.

There are so many fun and innovative ways to embrace Catholic living, direct from amazing Catholic creators! These are only a few, but they’ve made a difference in our home in the best of ways.

Note: This article originally appeared on Catholic Mom.