This Catholic Family: Catholic Womanhood, Family, and Conversion
Note: This Catholic Family Has moved to Substack! New posts are added to that platform only. www.thiscatholicfamily.substack.com
Hello friends!
Lorelei was interviewed this week for Relevant Radio’s Morning Air program about her recent article: “Being Gift in a Take World.”
Check it out by clicking here! She’s the first guest right at the beginning of the show.
Thanks!
-JP and Lorelei
We love that our kids are in Mass with us on Sundays, but it’s always helpful to find tools that help them understand more of what is going on and that support them as they grow in their ability to engage.
Below are three tools This Catholic Family has found that do just that.
1- The Mass Book For Catholic Children, by Jennifer Sharpe.
This guided journal has been very helpful for our six-year-old.
She isn’t yet an advanced reader, but there are many components of the book she can use now, as well as some that she could grow into. I love how both writing and drawing are incorporated. For example, she can write in a prayer intention for the day and also draw a depiction of the gospel reading. Some of Felicity’s other favorite parts are coloring the vestments on the Priest and tallying the number of times “Jesus Christ” is said in Mass. The checklists for preparing to enter Mass and for preparing to leave Mass are also great tools.
Felicity is a very active girl, both in movement and in using her brain. Felicity says The Mass Book for Catholic Children helps her have fun and gives her something to do during Mass, but in a way that also helps her pay attention.
As a teacher, I know many children need concrete tools rather than just observation to help them develop a deep understanding of a concept, event or topic. This book is a great way to help support children as they grow in their understanding of our faith.
2- My Mass Kit
My kids love to play pretend. We have princess costumes, firefighter costumes, builder costumes, and all sorts of tools for imagination fun. Dress up and games of pretend helps them internalize the real world, and find their place in it through play.
Now, they can use this sturdy kit to reenact what they see happening each Mass, and gives them a way to internalize Mass through playing pretend. We love to talk about what each of the different items is used for. One of our favorite Mass Kit memories is when JP’s siblings were over and the kids lined us up to distribute communion. Such a great tool!
3- Our Example
This one is totally free. 🙂 When our children see us looking forward to and engaging (as much as we can with young kids) in Mass, it sets an example for them to follow. Our lives and actions speak louder than our words, and our attitude towards Mass and participation in it will stick with them in a very powerful way.
We hope you found these tools helpful! It’s always good to give kids tangible ways to connect with their faith. One of our deepest prayers is that our kids will grow up with a living and active faith of their own. Incorporating these things into our family life is one way we are helping build for them a solid foundation.
-Lorelei and JP
I’ve thought about the liturgical calendar this year more than I ever have before. I’ve thought about what little ways we can start incorporating the calendar of the Church year into our home.
And here we find ourselves, as we always will at this time of year, at the beginning of Advent.
We want our home life to reflect the life of the Church, and in response to that I started planning ahead for Advent this year. I came up with a few ideas, then read this article about How to Celebrate Advent like a Catholic, and rejoiced, because it seems like we are on the right track.
I know not everyone’s Advent will look the same way, and a different phases of life different things make sense for different people. But here’s what This Catholic Family is doing to celebrate Advent this year.
I definitely don’t plan on being Scrooge, and will respond in kind when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas before December 25th. But if I initiate the good tidings, I plan to say “Happy Advent.” In the Catholic world, it ain’t Christmas until it’s Christmas. And the waiting is a beautiful thing.
I’ll shout Merry Christmas from the rooftops on December 25th though, and straight through till Epiphany.
Good Deeds Manger for Baby Jesus
Advent is a penitential season. We are waiting for Jesus’ birth, and while there is great anticipation of what is to come, he is not here yet. This year our children will place a single piece of straw in the Manger for acts that are sacrificial and placing another’s needs before their own.
Our hope will be that baby Jesus will find a soft and warm bed upon which to lay, when we place him there on Christmas morning. Here’s a link to the one we bought on Amazon.
A few years back, I couldn’t find an Advent Calendar I liked, so constructed this one out of felt.
This was still in my “I’m Never Going To Be Catholic” days, but I liked the idea of a calendar leading up to Christmas. I no longer have time for this sort of Pinteresty goodness, but it turned out pretty cool. Each pocket has a little ornament that gets hung on the felt tree, (though, note that the pockets are empty this year as the ornaments are in a baggie in the closet. We have a very grabby 11 month old who likes to destroy all things beautiful and fancy.) The ornaments are kind of random wintery stuff, but leading up to Christmas itself is an Angel for the 23rd, Baby Jesus for Christmas Eve, and a star for Christmas Day to go on the top of the tree.
The kids each have a child their age from our Parish’s Giving Tree. We went to the store with the sole purpose of making sure these kids have a present on Christmas morning, and they practiced a corporeal act of mercy by delivering it to our Parish on the first Sunday of Advent this year. This was a nice way to start the season off with the thought of the needs of others, and of compassion and love.
We are no longer going to be scurrying around like little consumerist mice this Advent season. I, somehow, some way did nearly all the Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving #ThanksAmazonPrime.
So we’ll be wrapping gifts soon, but I think that’s fitting as this is a time of preparation and anticipation. But I just didn’t want shopping to the be name of the game this December. I know that’s unrealistic for some people, and it took a lot of pre-planning, but it feels good to know it’s done.
We also aren’t going party crazy this year. Not that our calendar was brimming with invites, mind you, but other than the kid’s school Christmas program and a date night for my birthday, things are pretty chill.
We did, however, plan a Christmas party for the small group at our parish. But we planned it for the 12th day of Christmas – on January 5th- because one of the many great things about being Catholic, is the holidays aren’t over until Epiphany, and we thought that would be a fun tie in to the liturgical calendar, and a good excuse to celebrate with our friends.
You know you’re really Catholic when you start blessing stuff around the house.
And our Christmas tree is no exception. We found this lovely Blessing of the Christmas Tree on the USCCB website.
It’s beautiful and simple, and puts a focus on Christ in our lives and in our home.
This is one of the things I’m most excited about. I wanted an Advent wreath last year, but what with being a bajillion months pregnant at the time it didn’t happen.
We will share a slightly elevated Christmas dinner together as a family. (This means we will bust out placemats and cloth napkins. Because that’s how we roll when fancy time comes in the Savaryn household.) We will light the appropriate candles and will do an Advent reading while we share the meal.
I’ve never done this before, and while I’m realistic about what dinnertime looks like for our family, I also have high hopes that some lovely moments will arise here and there throughout the season. And if not, well, we’ll call it our learning year.
Jesus gets a birthday cake this year on Christmas Day. Because cake is delicious and it’s also something my children identify with birthday celebrations in our own culture and time. Awesomely, Mary Charlotte gets a birthday cake on the day after Christmas, because that’s when she decided to make her first appearance.
I just feel like everyone wins with this one.
So This Catholic Family is kicking off Advent in Catholic style. It’s so great to have these solid and beautiful traditions to keep our hearts and minds on the reason for the season.
And though these pictures look lovely and peaceful, rest assured we nary make it a single day without one of the children having some sort of a meltdown. But the tools are here for us just the same, and help retrain our eyes and souls on what really matters this holiday season.
Come Lord Jesus.
Amen.
-Lorelei
My kids, well the ones old enough to talk, talk to God like he’s a friend. They just tell him what they hope for in their own lives, and who they want to intercede for. Felicity for the longest time prayed for her preschool teacher who had a bothersome tooth. Auggie prays for his baby teeth to come out, which I think is his three-year-old way to tell God he longs to be bigger and more grown up. He’s had to show a lot of patience while waiting to be big enough for things like a big boy bike, and to be old enough to play soccer, and to be able to occasionally skip nap. They just lay it out, no holds barred.
Then we have our family prayers. Our kids know The Angel Prayer, where they ask their guardian angel to watch over them, The Lord’s Prayer, Good Night Dear Lord, and a few others, including the Hail Mary.
And, though I never in a million years thought I’d send my kids to Catholic schools (particularly in my pre-Catholic days,) we have been so blessed by St. Lucy’s Catholic School, and our kids have only been going there for 3 months. Particularly, I’m loving the continuity between our home life, church life, and school life.
And a couple weeks back our kids came home with a mini rosary. Ten beads strung on pipe cleaners and twisted together at the end. That simple little tool has added a whole new layer to our family prayers at the end of many days.
Felicity leads us in the decade, holding on to each bead as she prays, and we join in. I watch the ease with which she asks for Mary to pray for us. I feel peace wash over me as it so often does when praying a prayer I was once so afraid to pray. In the prayers of my child we settle in as a family and draw nearer to Jesus.
It is such a visible, tangible, audible reminder of the unity of our family in faith. Ten years ago I didn’t know how we would handle our different faith traditions when we had children. I didn’t have much reason to believe that this level of unity would one day be a part of our lives. But I hoped and prayed for it as JP and I found our way.
And, as I listen to the simple and pure prayers of my children, I realize just how deeply that desperate prayer has been answered. And it is such a beautiful thing.
-Lorelei
There are as many ways to manage a family with young children at Mass as there are families that attend. Many people will have something different that works for them. I’m always on the lookout for ideas and have read several articles on what age appropriate expectations are, as well as articles with ideas on how to engage kids in our Catholic faith, both during Mass and throughout the week.
These articles have often been an encouragement to me, and I love picking up new ideas or being able to identify with a family who manages things in a similar way.
So, here is how our family approaches bringing our children to Mass. We have a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 9-month-old.
Each week, our family of five loads up in our car and goes to Mass together. Exceptions for this have been when a kid is sick, one parent stays back and the other parent takes the rest of the family. I think the fact that we do this each and every week, over time, will set a good example of the importance of practicing our faith. Even when we are out of town or on vacation, we find a Catholic Church and attend Mass together.
When our daughter turned 5, we began expecting that she would follow along with the postures of Mass (sitting, standing, kneeling), and also to join in with the parts of Mass she knew. She now sings along with many of the congregational responses.
Our 3-year-old is expected to be quiet and not distract others. He sometimes joins in during some of the parts, but we aren’t requiring he follow every sit/stand/kneel yet.
More on our 9-month-old in a bit.
We’ve tried many different seating positions, but have found, for our children, that sitting up front is the most conducive to a smooth Mass (at least for the older two). They can see what’s happening, and that helps keep them more engaged.
We don’t insist that the kids be absolutely silent during Mass. But we also won’t talk about whether or not we are getting donuts after or other random things. They are more than welcome to ask us questions, quietly, or to point something out they notice in the church, or something relevant to the Mass itself. We also sometimes will explain what is happening, or note something interesting for them to pay attention to. These small things are done in whispers. It is important to me that if my kids have a question or are excited to notice something, that I validate their engagement. When it’s time for the Eucharist, we invite them to join us to come and see Jesus, even though they are too young to receive.
I’m a relatively recent Catholic convert (2016) and my husband is a revert. Just prior to becoming Catholic, we were at a church with a comprehensive children’s program, where our kids never were in church with us. They went to their own classrooms to play and have a Bible lesson for the entire service. So, going from that to having them in with us at Mass every week, was a bit of an adjustment for everyone, though I have come to enjoy having our family together each Sunday.
To start, we brought an activities kit, with coloring and notebooks. We also did some crackers and water. It’s what we saw as the best option to help our kids make the transition. Now, our daughter doesn’t use the coloring much at all because she is participating, and our son sometimes does, but often sits quietly. It was something that helped us. Our daughter also has taken to bringing her children’s Bible with her. We can sometimes turn to the story in her Bible that matches the reading, and definitely can turn to the Last Supper so she can draw connections between that and the Eucharist.
My hope is that parishioners can give families grace in this area. As a teacher, I know each child is so different. One kid might need something to fidget with the whole Mass. Another kid might be able to focus the whole time right away. And every possible thing in between. Having those activities helped our kids transition, and they are weaning off their dependence on them as they grow, and as we gain experience attending Mass together.
Our 9-month-old is incredibly wiggly. She is constantly on the go. Right now, we try to start Mass with her in the pew with us. Typically, we can make it to the Gospel before she starts getting frustrated at the confinement we’ve placed her in. She wants to crawl under the pew, and out the side, and to eat the pew and make noises to hear the sound of her voice. My husband and I are currently taking turns bringing her out to the foyer, where we can hear the service, so she can get her wiggles out until she is old enough to know how to sit still. She’s just an adventurous baby, and she won’t be that way forever. The person who is out with the baby doesn’t experience Mass as fully as the other, but the Eucharist is there, and we are able to receive Jesus into us, even whilst in the phase of baby wiggles.
During the Easter Triduum this year, I tried something new that I think I would like to continue. During those special Masses, where some unique things occur (Holy Thursday Mass is an example,) I made my daughter a chart, with pictures noting certain things for her to look out for, like the presentation of the oils, the washing of the feet, the stripping of the altar. When she noticed each thing happening, she checked it off. It was a way to keep her engaged, and to start teaching her about these particularly important moments in our faith.
We make sure to hold hands with the kids, or let them sit on our laps, or put our arms around them, and in general just make it a special family time. We want them to feel close to us, and to experience the faith together. We smile at the big kids when they participate in something new, encouraging them to keep it up. We want Mass to be a positive experience. Something they look forward to, most weeks at least, and something they see as part of our family identity.
Again, there are as many approaches to Mass with kids as there are families. This is just what has been working for us, at this phase of life. It always warms my heart to see other families with young kids at Mass each week. Bringing our children to Mass is one of many things we can do to help our children grow in faith and virtue now and for the long road ahead.
We’re all in this together.
(Note: This article originally appeared on Catholic Stand)
-Lorelei
It’s been a while since I’ve been straight up embarrassed in public. Though I lean introvert, I can typically handle social situations in an appropriate manner.
This week, I was reminded how awful it feels to be embarrassed in front of others.
We were at the pool for Lissie’s swim lessons. I was sitting on the edge of the wading section, keeping an eye on Auggie (who was wearing a lifejacket), and also trying to keep the baby from freaking out at her lack of freedom while strapped in her carseat.
We’d been attending swim lessons all summer. 14 times to be exact. And I had spoken with a lifeguard a few weeks back about where I needed to be in relation to my son while he swam. I was told I needed to be at the edge of the pool, which is where I was.
I was surprised, therefore, that a lifeguard approached me at the last lesson pretty agressively and told me I needed to be within arm’s reach of my son.
I told him I thought I was doing the right thing, but it wasn’t a problem and promptly waded over to tell Auggie to stay close to me.
But then the lifeguard didn’t stop. He kept explaining the rule to me, loudly, even though I didn’t fight him on where he wanted me to be.
There were a lot of people at the pool.
I felt embarrassed.
I know he was trying to do his job and keep everyone safe, but it’s a weird moment when you think you are following the rules, but then someone keeps explaining it to you like you don’t get it for some reason or are going to fight him on it, even though you’re not.
I’ve never liked getting in trouble. I made it through school without a single detention. I cried once when I got a tally mark against me for talking in 2nd grade. I also cried when a very nice police officer pulled me over for speeding the one time I got a ticket.
I really, really, don’t like being singled out in public for a negative reason. And I think there is a much more respectful way to correct behavior, in both public and private situations.
Dignity and Teaching
I learned very early on in my urban teaching experience that my students responded a lot better to redirection if I did it privately, without embarrassing them.
There are a couple of kids I specifically remember. Kids who other teachers had a hard time getting to listen. Kids who often got phone calls home or one way trips to the office. But not with me. Why? Because the other teachers would scold them publicly, in front of their friends. And they would talk back in an attempt to save face.
When these same kids were approached quietly, privately, respectfully when the other students were working, things were different. They, more often than not, corrected their behavior, dignity intact.
I also tried as best as I could to assume the misbehavior was unintentional. There’s a big difference in approach between “Quit tapping that pencil on the paper- you know it’s distracting everyone!” and “You may not have realized this, but tapping your pencil that loudly makes it hard for me to focus on what I’m teaching. Is there a quieter way you could get your wiggles out?”
Understanding kid’s innate desire to be treated with dignity helped my teacher game more than I ever could have known. Kids felt safe in my classroom. They knew I respected them as people. And they were able to learn and trust that they were in good hands.
Dignity and Parenting
How many times a week does a kid get their behavior corrected? Judging by my own parenting experience, a lot.
I think it was good for my kids to see the pool incident happen. We talked about it on the way home. About how I wanted to say some not nice things to him, but didn’t, and how hard it is to control our tongues. We also talked about how he was in charge of the pool, and how I needed to be respectful of him, even though it was difficult.
We talked about how I just wanted to leave, and how I understand there have been times in the past when they have felt the same way, embarrassed by something so much that they wanted to go home.
I hope this helped, particularly our five-year-old. She is a child of Big Feelings. I hope it helped her see that grown-ups have Big Feelings sometimes, too. That we feel embarrassed sometimes. That we need to respect the people in charge, too.
I also hope this helps me remember to be sensitive to those moments when my kids are embarrased. To those moments when they feel like they aren’t in control of their life. When they are misunderstood. I think I was better at remembering these things in the context of a classroom than I am in the context of my kids at home. I don’t know why this is. Maybe because I don’t always get a ‘prep time’ each day when I can re-focus and re-charge. JP and I get a few hours while the kids sleep each night, but it’s not like there is ever any extended separation from the environment of home like there was when I left school each day and didn’t have to return until the following morning. It’s more constant each day at home. But it’s not an excuse to forget.
Thank You, Mr. Lifeguard
I didn’t like it when it happened, but that brief and uncomfortable encounter at the pool had a lot to teach me, and hopefully, helped me connect with my kids in a deeper way. It was a good reminder to me of what it feels like to have someone assume the worst intentions in you, and to publicly call you out on it.
I think it’s a good thing when we can take an uncomfortable situation and learn something from it. I’m thankful to that lifeguard. Though I didn’t appreciate his approach, I know he was trying to do his job well. His approach gave me an important reminder about how I handle things with the people I’m in charge of as their momma, and was yet another reminder of the importance of maintaining the dignity of those we encounter. No matter how big, or how small.
-Lorelei
All The Lonely Mommas
Ever feel like you weren’t in the club?
Like people everywhere are talking about how thankful they are for their tribe or posting pictures of themselves online hanging out with their tribe and you feel like you’re standing in a corner of a room tentatively raising your hand, saying “Hey, I’d like one of those.”
I think there should be a parody of “All The Single Ladies,” and instead it could be called “All The Lonely Mommas.” At least then we’d have a cool beat to accompany the solitude.
Suffice it to to say, at times I’ve found this motherhood journey with young kids at home to be lonely. This is not to say that I don’t have friends and acquantences who I count on and like very much. I personally don’t have one cohesive tribe as much as I have packets of friends in a variety of different areas. I’m learning that’s okay, too. I don’t need to spend these years chasing after some mythical tribe where all my friends are friends with each other and we are all inseperable. This isn’t high school anymore, and, for some of us, developing a cohesive tribe has been a bit tricky to accomplish. I’m not really trying to accomplish it anymore so much as enjoy each individual friendship I have, as well as the ones I’m developing.
Working Mom/ SAHM
There’s also the loneliness accompanying whatever a mom’s work situation is. I’ve been both a working mom and a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) in the past three years.
When I worked, I had some amazing co-workers that I really liked. But we were all teachers. And teachers are busy. So there wasn’t a lot of time to socialize during the day. We were too busy teaching little brains. I also, during that phase, felt disconnected from my mom friends who were SAHM’s at the time. I couldn’t go to the play dates, the play groups, the during-the-day mommy stuff that helps to fill the long days at home with kids. And I was often too tired at night to do anything other than sit on the couch. Especially when I was pregnant. Social engagements became few and far between, which was, indeed, lonely.
When I have stayed home, I’ve been lonely in the long hours and sometimes full days that go by without talking to another adult. I got better at scheduling enough during the week that I didn’t feel like I was going to lose my mind, but the hours, especially at the end of the day, can drag. As much as I love the cuddles and playtimes, and stories, I also acknowledge that it is often lonely too.
It’s Nice To Meet You
For me, its been getting better. Mostly because I have made uncomfortable decisions over the past few years, on and off, to make new connections and put myself in places where new connections are possible.
A co-worker has a kid the same age? Set up a play date. There’s a mom’s group where you live? Try it out. That mom also standing alone on the other side of the park? Say hello. There’s a chance she is feeling lonely too.
Keep putting self out there. Show up. Introduce yourself. Stick hand out, smile and say “Hi, I’m _____. It’s nice to meet you.”
Sometimes that’s all that will come of it. A short, but hopefully pleasant encounter chatting about your kids and the weather and this and that. That’s okay. But sometimes the conversation will flow freely. Sometimes, you’ll schedule a playdate. Sometimes, you’ll make a new friend.
But you’ve gotta be willing to take the hits with the misses. It’s a numbers game. If you keep putting yourself out there, it’s a matter of when, not if before you start making some connections with people that connect with you.
I think we all do each other and ourselves a service when we acknowledge “This is hard.” Or “I’m lonely.” So let me be the first to say “That’s me.” Totally. It’s come in waves over the past five years of motherhood, and it has been getting better but yes I have been and still am lonely sometimes. So let’s do something to change it.
I’ll begin.
Hi, I’m Lorelei. It is very nice to meet you.
Praying to Saints is one of those big dividing lines between the Catholic and Protestant worlds. I was very against it as a Protestant. But what I found as I first began to explore the Catholic faith, is a lot of the confusion stems from different definitions of the same word, and an answer that can be found in Scripture about whether or not those in heaven can hear us at all.
The Meaning of The Word
‘Prayer’ is the word a Protestant uses when they talk to God. There is a connotation of worship when a Protestant uses the word ‘prayer’. This is why, as a Protestant myself, I firmly believed prayer was something reserved for our communication to God alone. I certainly didn’t want to worship anyone other than God, and therefore I wouldn’t be found praying to Saints or to anyone else in heaven.
When a Catholic uses the word ‘prayer,’ and are talking about prayer to God, then yes, we mean the same exact thing.
But I think the misunderstanding stems from a second use of that very same word. Because when a Catholic is “Praying to a Saint,” he or she is asking for someone in heaven to pray for us, just as we would ask a friend at church to pray for us. We are not worshipping Saints, or attributing anything divine to them. But, since they are already in heaven and are without the distractions of this life, Saints are actually great people to intercede on our behalf. Yes, we should and do pray directly to God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. We begin and end all our prayers addressing the Trinity. But, just as we ask our friends on earth to pray for us, so, too, do we ask our friends in heaven.
Can They Hear Us?
This was another big one for me. Okay, sure, if we define Praying to Saints as simply asking for their prayer on our behalf, it isn’t such an odd practice. But, all that is a moot point if those in heaven can’t hear us.
A big scripture for me that addressed this issue was Revelation 5:8.
“Each of the elders held a harp and gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of the holy ones.”
This verse makes it at least clear that those in heaven are aware of our requests to God, as they are holding up the bowls. Whether or not we ask the Saints specifically, I found it inarguable that they know our prayer requests, and also play an active role in presenting them to God. By offering the bowls up, they are in fact interceding for people on earth.
This is not to mention that those throughout all of Early Church history found it acceptable, and good, even, to ask for the intercession of the Saints in heaven. I found myself time and time again on my own personal journey, assenting the Early Church knew what it was doing.
Because of My Weakness
Another reason I pray to Saints is because of my own weakness.
I have three little kids running around at home. I’m often busy, and sometimes overwhelmed. It is really difficult for my brain to simmer down.
But I know the Saints are there. They don’t have those burdens. They can fervently intercede for me while I’m changing the baby, or while I’m at the grocery store, or tending to a scraped knee. I can pray then, too. But I fully admit I am weak in the area of praying without ceasing. All to often, I’m consumed by the task at hand and I simply don’t remember. It is a discipline I know I need to improve. The Saints, I hope, intercede for me on that issue as well. But, in the meantime, I know they are there, and the prayers of the faithful are powerful prayers indeed. I know I am in good hands.
Conclusion
There are many Catholic things I never thought I’d do. I’ll share more on that another time. Praying to the Saints is definitely one of them. But I am so thankful now for the souls in heaven that can intercede for me in my weakness.
I talk to St. Anthony when something is lost. I talk to St. Teresa of Calcutta about social justice issues. I talk to Mary, our Lord’s Mother, about being a mom, and raising kids. And I talk to Jesus about all that stuff too. Because by being Catholic, it isn’t always either or. This is another example of the very awesome Catholic “Both And.”
Just another of the many things I am thankful for as a convert to The Church.
Resources
Ten years ago, JP and I entered into the Sacrament of Marriage.
We celebrated our anniversary on May 26, 2017. It was a beautiful day, and we are so thankful for each other, and for God growing us in love this past decade. We started the week off by watching our wedding video, and looking at pictures from our relationship, and some of the notes we have given to each other over the years. Turns out back in the day we celebrated “month-versaries” of dating, and got each other a card for each month we had been together. We talk in those cards of all the “memories” we had made in the past one month, or two months, and it’s pretty dorky and funny, but also kind of sweet. Ten years in we now believe we actually do have some great memories together… so feeling pretty legit.
But, without further ado, here are some highlights from the actual anniversary day.
We drove up to Green Bay, which is where much of our early relationship took place, with plans to take the kids to several of our “Love Spots” in the area. We thought it would be good for them to see us celebrate our relationship together for the first part of the day, and it was really cool to have them along, visiting places we never knew we would be bringing our three kids a decade later.
We went to Zesty’s where we had part of our first date, and got ice cream.
Then the kids sat on the bench where we sat and had one of our first conversations. I remember I had my mom scheduled to call me so I could have an excuse to “bail” in case things weren’t going well. I forget what the code word was, but I clearly didn’t need to use it. I liked the fella’.
We also took the kids to Scray Hill, where JP and I went on a few dates to overlook the lights of the city. It’s also where he proposed at night on a vacant lot, which sounds sketchy, but actually wasn’t. Turns out, the proposal location is still a vacant lot! (Side note: JP does not enjoy selfies, but he humored me with a joyful spirit throughout this part of the day.)
JP went to St. Norbert College in De Pere, and De Pere is where I (Lorelei) grew up. So St. Norbert played a big role in our relationship as well. We took a walk there, also on our first date, and JP cheesily picked me a flower from a bush. Much of our early relationship, looking back, came with a side of cheese. Maybe it does still, cause we went back to that bush and took a picture.
About this point in time JP and Lissie start acting a bit fishy. I knew we were planning to visit the church where we got married (which was the Catholic church Old St. Joes on St. Norber’ts campus. How we ended up with a Catholic wedding looooong before I was Catholic is a whole ‘nother story. But was also a grace I didn’t even know I was receiving at the time.)
The time was nigh and JP suggested we head over to the church. Once inside, Lissie looked at me with a smile and said “Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.” I take her, and she admitted Daddy told her to do that to keep me busy for a minute.
We finshed up, and I couldn’t find JP. Turned out he was inside the church, and he asked the kids if they wanted to see what it was like when Mommy and Daddy got married. Then he handed me my actual wedding veil, and a piano player started to play Pachelbel’s Canon in D. (At this point I’m very impressed with my husband.)
He took his spot down the aisle, and the kids ran and took their seats. I walked, once again, to the place where we married each other, and JP, I kid you not, ten years later, had tears in his eyes.
Things looked a littled different from my end than they did ten years ago. First of all, there were two humans who we created sitting by JP. And, my husband was holding our infant daughter as I walked to meet him. It was all surreal and beautiful and very cool.
I figured he would have some sort of love note for me or something, and I turned to smile at the kids. But when I looked back, a Priest had popped out from behind a wall, and he said we were there to affirm our wedding vows.
So we stood, in the empty Church with a Priest and our Children, and affirmed that which we promised to each other ten years ago that day. For richer and poorer, in sickness in health, until death do us part. It was a most wonderful surprise.
After that, one set of Grandparents babysat the littles for the evening, and we put the camera away while we went to enjoy a fine bottle of wine and the Chef’s Table at Chives in Green Bay. Highly recommend it, especially for special occasions. We were joined by a good pair of friends, and ended the night with some awkward karaoke.
It was wonderful to be able to spend a day just celebrating all that has happened in this first decade of our marriage, and to realize how far we’ve grown, and how much our love has developed and matured from those early days.
The Sacrament of Marriage has been a huge gift to us. One which I think we are just beginning to really appreciate, and to understand for what it is meant to be. We are both looking forward to what the next decades bring.
-Lorelei
Hello!
Lorelei’s latest article is up on Catholic Stand today!
A Lesson From A Two Year Old On Holiness
This Catholic Family just got back from a Mega Family wedding. It was so much fun, and we will be sharing more about our weekend with you in our next post!
-JP and Lorelei
This Catholic Family: Catholic Womanhood, Family, and Conversion 