How This Catholic Family Approaches Mass With Young Children

September 29, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ 2 Comments

Many Families, Many Approaches

There are as many ways to manage a family with young children at Mass as there are families that attend. Many people will have something different that works for them. I’m always on the lookout for ideas and have read several articles on what age appropriate expectations are, as well as articles with ideas on how to engage kids in our Catholic faith, both during Mass and throughout the week.

These articles have often been an encouragement to me, and I love picking up new ideas or being able to identify with a family who manages things in a similar way.

So, here is how our family approaches bringing our children to Mass. We have a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 9-month-old.

8 Ways Our Family Approaches Mass

1- We Bring Them

Each week, our family of five loads up in our car and goes to Mass together. Exceptions for this have been when a kid is sick, one parent stays back and the other parent takes the rest of the family. I think the fact that we do this each and every week, over time, will set a good example of the importance of practicing our faith. Even when we are out of town or on vacation, we find a Catholic Church and attend Mass together.

2- Expectations Vary By Age

When our daughter turned 5, we began expecting that she would follow along with the postures of Mass (sitting, standing, kneeling), and also to join in with the parts of Mass she knew. She now sings along with many of the congregational responses.

Our 3-year-old is expected to be quiet and not distract others. He sometimes joins in during some of the parts, but we aren’t requiring he follow every sit/stand/kneel yet.

3- We Sit Up Front

We’ve tried many different seating positions, but have found, for our children, that sitting up front is the most conducive to a smooth Mass (at least for the older two). They can see what’s happening, and that helps keep them more engaged.

4- We Explain Things

We don’t insist that the kids be absolutely silent during Mass. But we also won’t talk about whether or not we are getting donuts after or other random things. They are more than welcome to ask us questions, quietly, or to point something out they notice in the church, or something relevant to the Mass itself. We also sometimes will explain what is happening, or note something interesting for them to pay attention to. These small things are done in whispers. It is important to me that if my kids have a question or are excited to notice something, that I validate their engagement. When it’s time for the Eucharist, we invite them to join us to come and see Jesus, even though they are too young to receive.

5- Activities

I’m a relatively recent Catholic convert (2016) and my husband is a revert. Just prior to becoming Catholic, we were at a church with a comprehensive children’s program, where our kids never were in church with us. They went to their own classrooms to play and have a Bible lesson for the entire service. So, going from that to having them in with us at Mass every week, was a bit of an adjustment for everyone, though I have come to enjoy having our family together each Sunday.

To start, we brought an activities kit, with coloring and notebooks. We also did some crackers and water. It’s what we saw as the best option to help our kids make the transition. Now, our daughter doesn’t use the coloring much at all because she is participating, and our son sometimes does, but often sits quietly. It was something that helped us. Our daughter also has taken to bringing her children’s Bible with her. We can sometimes turn to the story in her Bible that matches the reading, and definitely can turn to the Last Supper so she can draw connections between that and the Eucharist.

My hope is that parishioners can give families grace in this area. As a teacher, I know each child is so different. One kid might need something to fidget with the whole Mass. Another kid might be able to focus the whole time right away. And every possible thing in between. Having those activities helped our kids transition, and they are weaning off their dependence on them as they grow, and as we gain experience attending Mass together.

6- Taking Turns

Our 9-month-old is incredibly wiggly. She is constantly on the go. Right now, we try to start Mass with her in the pew with us. Typically, we can make it to the Gospel before she starts getting frustrated at the confinement we’ve placed her in. She wants to crawl under the pew, and out the side, and to eat the pew and make noises to hear the sound of her voice. My husband and I are currently taking turns bringing her out to the foyer, where we can hear the service, so she can get her wiggles out until she is old enough to know how to sit still. She’s just an adventurous baby, and she won’t be that way forever. The person who is out with the baby doesn’t experience Mass as fully as the other, but the Eucharist is there, and we are able to receive Jesus into us, even whilst in the phase of baby wiggles.

7- Special Masses

During the Easter Triduum this year, I tried something new that I think I would like to continue. During those special Masses, where some unique things occur (Holy Thursday Mass is an example,) I made my daughter a chart, with pictures noting certain things for her to look out for, like the presentation of the oils, the washing of the feet, the stripping of the altar. When she noticed each thing happening, she checked it off. It was a way to keep her engaged, and to start teaching her about these particularly important moments in our faith.

8- We Make It Special

We make sure to hold hands with the kids, or let them sit on our laps, or put our arms around them, and in general just make it a special family time. We want them to feel close to us, and to experience the faith together. We smile at the big kids when they participate in something new, encouraging them to keep it up. We want Mass to be a positive experience. Something they look forward to, most weeks at least, and something they see as part of our family identity.

Conclusion

Again, there are as many approaches to Mass with kids as there are families. This is just what has been working for us, at this phase of life. It always warms my heart to see other families with young kids at Mass each week. Bringing our children to Mass is one of many things we can do to help our children grow in faith and virtue now and for the long road ahead.

We’re all in this together.

(Note: This article originally appeared on Catholic Stand)

-Lorelei

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Finding Peace Amidst Chaos In Adoration (Catholic Stand)

August 20, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ 2 Comments

(The article below originally appeared on Catholic Stand. Click here to read.)

Letters To God

While sorting through a bin of items from my childhood, I came across several pages of prayer journals. In different phases of my life, I would write my prayers to God in letter form. The letters are written in such familiar language, as though I was writing a letter to a best friend. They made me smile. Some of my letters were written during normal times where nothing extraordinary or desperate was happening. Others were written during relatively difficult periods of time. But they were all very honest and trusting. They were also all handwritten, which means I made the effort to steal away and share my heart with my God.

In particular, these letters reminded me that I am currently far from the place where make such a concerted effort to pray. I pray, yes. But they are shorter, more fleeting prayers: praying with the kids before bed, praying a Hail Mary during the day. There is a place for those prayers inserted into the daily routine, to be sure. But there is also, I think, a need and a place to slow ourselves down and let the world melt away and connect with our Creator on a more intentional level.

How Quickly We Forget

I have to smile and shake my head a bit at how, despite all the changes in technology and industry and convenience, human nature really changes very little. For example, the Israelites witnessed God parting an entire sea to save them from the pursuit of Pharaoh and sustained them with manna. They so soon forgot, however, and built idols made of gold. Similarly, I forget so easily the balance, peace, and joy that is in my life when I intentionally spend time with God.

I know, historically, that the times where I am the most peaceful, the most grounded, and have the most perspective are the times in my life when I make time to pray. There was the summer I babysat several days a week and, while the kids napped, I would spend the time in devotion. There was the spring I went through a break-up and met God daily in my sorrow. There were many times when nothing in particular was going on, and I just acknowledged it was important and made the time.

But then I get comfortable. I let my priorities subtly, yet consistently shift. In those phases of life, when fleeting prayers are all that sustains me, something significant is out of balance. I am quicker to anger. I am more easily burdened by the stressors of life. I lose perspective on what is truly important. The Israelites and I? We have more in common than I’d like to think.

Making God Time A Priority

I am always going to be busy, though as the years go on the business takes on different forms. In high school, it was extracurriculars, and calculus homework. In early married life it was graduate school and learning how to be a teacher. Now, it’s three children aged five and under who are always hungry and who leave a trail of toy wreckage in their wake.

My husband recently (and gently) pointed out that I have many Martha-like tendencies. I spin many plates. Most of them necessary. I spin the plates of meal planning, house-keeping, playing with the kids, writing, and planning ahead so our family has what we need. Anxiety doesn’t rule my life, but there is more of it that I’d prefer when I am always focusing on the plates I spin, instead of looking up beyond the plates, to the One who created these gifts in my life. The gifts of food to eat, and a home to keep, and children to love, and a brain that loves to create and plan.

Amidst the business, there must still be time for God. Yes, he is there with us in the chaos. But he is also there, waiting for us to spend time with Him. He is there, in the quiet of our bedroom, or backyard, or coffee shop. He is there, in the Eucharist at each and every Catholic parish. He waits for us there in a full and real and tangible way.

Finding Adoration

Prior to becoming Catholic, I had access to God in many beautiful ways and many beautiful places through my Christian faith.

But one of the many significant gifts I have access to now through being Catholic, is the gift of Adoration. When I am weary, when I am burdened, I can go to my parish, and sit with my Savior. After our Mary/Martha conversation, I knew I was past due for some time sitting at my Savior’s feet.

So I went to Eucharistic Adoration. I entered to the scent of incense, a symbol of the prayers of the people rising up to God. I didn’t go with any specific agenda, or prayer requests in mind. I just wanted to slow down and remember what it felt like to be with God.

Through the brief time I was able to spend in Adoration, I found it was difficult to slow down my ever quickly moving mind. I realized it’s probably pretty tricky for God to get through to me sometimes when my own brain is moving a million miles an hour. I need to remember to slow down. I didn’t have any lightning bolt revelations, or earth-shattering clarity. But I did have rest. How beautiful is it that God is always there waiting for us? He is there in Adoration, in the Eucharist, in all those created in His image, in the world He set into motion in a universe filled with stars, voids, gravity, and light.

He is so patient with us. He finds us where we are, and makes Himself available for us to come to him. Where he veils himself in something so humble as the bread and the wine. Which, when I think about the immensity of God, isn’t that different from when He veiled His glory in the body of a human man.

It humbles. It inspires awe.

And so, I will go again to the feet of my Lord until I remember how to slow down my mind, to sit and to be, and to let Him fill me with his peace and His love. Then, I know, I will be able to accept with peace whatever it is that may come my way. Perhaps next time, I will once again bring a notebook and a pen, and remember what it is to share my ordinary and extraordinary burdens and joys with my God. And then to put the pen down, be still, and remember what it is to listen and to soak in His love for me.

-Lorelei

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When Grown Ups Get Embarrassed (A Lesson in Parenting)

August 5, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ 1 Comment

It’s been a while since I’ve been straight up embarrassed in public. Though I lean introvert, I can typically handle social situations in an appropriate manner.

This week, I was reminded how awful it feels to be embarrassed in front of others.

We were at the pool for Lissie’s swim lessons. I was sitting on the edge of the wading section, keeping an eye on Auggie (who was wearing a lifejacket), and also trying to keep the baby from freaking out at her lack of freedom while strapped in her carseat.

We’d been attending swim lessons all summer. 14 times to be exact. And I had spoken with a lifeguard a few weeks back about where I needed to be in relation to my son while he swam. I was told I needed to be at the edge of the pool, which is where I was.

I was surprised, therefore, that a lifeguard approached me at the last lesson pretty agressively and told me I needed to be within arm’s reach of my son.

I told him I thought I was doing the right thing, but it wasn’t a problem and promptly waded over to tell Auggie to stay close to me.

But then the lifeguard didn’t stop. He kept explaining the rule to me, loudly, even though I didn’t fight him on where he wanted me to be.

There were a lot of people at the pool.

I felt embarrassed.

I know he was trying to do his job and keep everyone safe, but it’s a weird moment when you think you are following the rules, but then someone keeps explaining it to you like you don’t get it for some reason or are going to fight him on it, even though you’re not.

I’ve never liked getting in trouble. I made it through school without a single detention. I cried once when I got a tally mark against me for talking in 2nd grade. I also cried when a very nice police officer pulled me over for speeding the one time I got a ticket.

I really, really, don’t like being singled out in public for a negative reason. And I think there is a much more respectful way to correct behavior, in both public and private situations.

Dignity and Teaching

I learned very early on in my urban teaching experience that my students responded a lot better to redirection if I did it privately, without embarrassing them.

There are a couple of kids I specifically remember. Kids who other teachers had a hard time getting to listen. Kids who often got phone calls home or one way trips to the office. But not with me. Why? Because the other teachers would scold them publicly, in front of their friends. And they would talk back in an attempt to save face.

When these same kids were approached quietly, privately, respectfully when the other students were working, things were different. They, more often than not, corrected their behavior, dignity intact.

I also tried as best as I could to assume the misbehavior was unintentional. There’s a big difference in approach between “Quit tapping that pencil on the paper- you know it’s distracting everyone!” and “You may not have realized this, but tapping your pencil that loudly makes it hard for me to focus on what I’m teaching. Is there a quieter way you could get your wiggles out?”

Understanding kid’s innate desire to be treated with dignity helped my teacher game more than I ever could have known. Kids felt safe in my classroom. They knew I respected them as people. And they were able to learn and trust that they were in good hands.

Dignity and Parenting

How many times a week does a kid get their behavior corrected? Judging by my own parenting experience, a lot.

I think it was good for my kids to see the pool incident happen. We talked about it on the way home. About how I wanted to say some not nice things to him, but didn’t, and how hard it is to control our tongues. We also talked about how he was in charge of the pool, and how I needed to be respectful of him, even though it was difficult.

We talked about how I just wanted to leave, and how I understand there have been times in the past when they have felt the same way, embarrassed by something so much that they wanted to go home.

I hope this helped, particularly our five-year-old. She is a child of Big Feelings. I hope it helped her see that grown-ups have Big Feelings sometimes, too. That we feel embarrassed sometimes. That we need to respect the people in charge, too.

I also hope this helps me remember to be sensitive to those moments when my kids are embarrased. To those moments when they feel like they aren’t in control of their life. When they are misunderstood. I think I was better at remembering these things in the context of a classroom than I am in the context of my kids at home. I don’t know why this is. Maybe because I don’t always get a ‘prep time’ each day when I can re-focus and re-charge. JP and I get a few hours while the kids sleep each night, but it’s not like there is ever any extended separation from the environment of home like there was when I left school each day and didn’t have to return until the following morning. It’s more constant each day at home. But it’s not an excuse to forget.

Thank You, Mr. Lifeguard

I didn’t like it when it happened, but that brief and uncomfortable encounter at the pool had a lot to teach me, and hopefully, helped me connect with my kids in a deeper way. It was a good reminder to me of what it feels like to have someone assume the worst intentions in you, and to publicly call you out on it.

I think it’s a good thing when we can take an uncomfortable situation and learn something from it. I’m thankful to that lifeguard. Though I didn’t appreciate his approach, I know he was trying to do his job well. His approach gave me an important reminder about how I handle things with the people I’m in charge of as their momma, and was yet another reminder of the importance of maintaining the dignity of those we encounter. No matter how big, or how small.

-Lorelei

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What Is Love?

July 24, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

I have to admit, whenever I think about this question the first thing that pops in my head is this:

https://giphy.com/gifs/saturday-night-live-jim-carrey-parody-12mgpZe6brh2nu

But Night At The Roxbury is not what we are here to talk about today. And, just a hunch, but I’m not sure those guys would be able to contribute too much to the conversation we are about to have on the true definition of love.

Love and Infatuation

Full disclosure: I watched every season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette for nearly ten years.

Most people (I hope) don’t take shows like that too seriously. But they really are a unique microcosm of the Infatuation Effect. The whole “I’m obsessed with you, you are my whole world” phase of relationships that are just getting off the ground.

But, as a culture, I think we do misunderstand infatuation for love in our own real lives. Infatuation is chemicals and hormones, and is wonderful and exciting.

But it isn’t love.

Love and Utility

I’ve been writing a fair amount about utility lately… the idea that we only give people value when we find them useful to us in one way or another.

I think, though, unless we actively counteract our tendency to relate to people in this way, the idea of seeing people for their usefulness is unfortunately rather innate.

A few examples:

In Childhood:

Befriending a slightly more popular girl in school in the hopes of raising your own social status.
Making a “trade” with a friend for a piece of candy because they have something you want, rather than because you want to give them something they desire.

In Adulthood:

Befriending people who might help give you the image of status/social life you hope to convey.
Relating your own kindness or generousity to a spouse in terms of how much they do for you.

Valuing people for their utility also isn’t love.

So, What Is Love?

According to Aquinas, to love is “to will the good of another.”

If we love, we want the other’s good. This could be a friend, a spouse, a child, a relative, a stranger. We love them if we want good for them.

It seems so simple.

Tonight, my son fell and cut his chin on a sharp edge of plastic. I held gauze to his chin to stop the bleeding. It was a deep wound. We were at church, and I left immediately to go to the nearest pharamacy to get what I would need to take care of my boy. I wanted him to not be in pain. I wanted to help him heal, and quickly. In those moments, I loved him well.

I don’t always love well. This is something I’m sure I will be working on my entire life. Far too often I want the bigger piece of cake, the more comfortable situation, the first place in line. To be the receiver of good rather than the giver. It is something I think about and pray for. To love better. To will the good of others.

That’s one thing I love about the Examination of Concience. It helps us think about the ways where we put ourselves first, or had selfish motives. And it helps us turn back towards the true definition of love.

Some of my favorite Examination of Conscience questions are:

Do I work to protect the dignity of others when it is being threatened?
Do I recognize and respect the economic, social, political, and cultural rights of others?
Do I live in material comfort and excess while remaining insensitive to the needs of others whose rights are unfulfilled?
Am I disproportionately concerned for my own good at the expense of others?
Does the way I spend my time reflect a genuine concern for others?
Do I see all members of the human family as my brothers and sisters?

Reflecting on these parts of myself help me to know areas where I am self-focused, rather than other-focused. Areas where I will my own good first and above all else.

Truly loving another person is not easy for those of us who tend to like comfort. Who tend towards self-preservation. It is not for the faint of heart. Love takes faith, humility, perserverance, and the laying down of self for another.

In our faith, we have the perfect example of what it means to lay down a life for another. Jesus loved perfectly. He willed the good of all humanity above his own and thus redeemed it. And while we are not perfect, we can continue to turn our hearts towards that which is good, and seek to emulate the example set for us. There is unfathomable redemption in love.

And knowing the true definition of love is a good place to start.

-Lorelei

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On Woven Sari Blankets and The Dignity of Man

July 12, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ 1 Comment

I have trouble with eye contact. Not during job interviews, not at home with my husband and kids. But definitely in public.

I remember in middle and high school avoiding eye contact with others was a way to deal with my shyness. The subtle yet significant fear that I would look someone in the eyes and they would ignore me. That I would not be seen. So I made the first move, which was to not even try.

A lot of times now, I find myself in a similar boat, except I’m not as much paralyzed by shyness as I am by the fact that I’m wrapped up in my own thoughts about my own life. What I need to do next, what I’m going to write about next, what I need to cook for dinner. The kids, the house, the list of things I need to do.

By doing this, I miss a lot of people, and a lot of potential interactions with other human beings.

In The Image of God

It’s easy for me to look at a baby, or a child, and to see the spark of The Creator inside them. Less so when it’s the person in front of me in line at a busy grocery store, who painstakingly writes out a check a la my grandmother. But instead of noticing that and remembering my grandma fondly, I am mostly irritated I chose this line, and will be delayed a couple of minutes and I have ice cream probably melting in the car from my first stop at Aldi.

The thing is, the lady in front of me, too, bears the mark and the spark of God inside her. And she, therefore, is deserving of a certain and irrevocable level of dignity and respect. So is the slow driver in front of me. The man carrying a 12 pack of beer as he walks home from the liquor store on the corner. The woman on her cell phone waiting for the bus.

Recently, I tried running errands and making an effort to truly look at people. And as I did, to think Image of God every time. There’s still some residual shyness lurking about, and it’s more difficult than I thought it would be. But when I did succeed, when I did pay attention enough to conciously acknowledge someone’s inherent worth. When our eyes met and we smiled. Woah. That was a powerful moment.

People long to be seen. We want to know we have worth.

A Blanket of Woven Saris

I recently hosted a party for a company that sells things made by women survivors of human trafficking. One of the many beautiful aspects of these companies is that women, who once were in a position where they felt they had no choice but to sell their bodies, now make a fair, living wage creating beautiful products for export. In their work, there is now dignity where there once was shame.

I received a handwoven blanket as a thank you for hosting the party. It is made of vintage saris, all beautifully braided together by a woman named Nasima. I know this because she signed the tag. I was able to go onto the website of the company, and to learn a bit about her story, and how her job gives her freedom, and respect.

image-god-dignity-man-sari-blanket — My beautiful blanket.

The Creativity of God

When we, myself included, forget about the dignity within each and every human, bad things can happen. From the smallest to the oldest among us, we all bear the image of our Creator, and this is the primary source of our immense and intrinsict worth. Any time we mess with that, and start assigning importance or value based upon one’s size, or if they are wanted, or if they can help us get something we want, we forget Imago Dei. And we are all the poorer for it.

I am the first one to say it is my goal to look people in the eyes more. It’s a small step, to be sure, but if you take enough steps you end up at a different destination. I want to look at them and think Imago Dei. I want to offer a smile. I want them to know they are seen. I want to spend more time interacting with these image bearers and less time with the neverending lists inside my head.

As I do this, I hope to grow in awe and wonder at the diversity of souls on this earth and at the dignity of man and the creativity of God.

-Lorelei

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On Beautiful Churches

June 30, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

The Original Problem

I used to have a problem with ornate churches. I used to think the money would have been better spent elsewhere. I verged, at times, on offended.

Then, I realized, I’ve worshipped in very expensive buildings that weren’t so aesthetically pleasing. Yes, Cathedrals cost a lot more than the average mega-church, but they are both expensive. I’ve also worshipped in some churches that probably weren’t as expensive. I’ve worshipped outside, which is as cost-efficient as you can get. This article isn’t an attempt to argue that worship can’t occur in a variety of settings. It’s an explanation of how I’ve come to love beautiful churches, and to understand the value they hold for the practice of my faith.

The Real Presence

But why is there value in beautiful churches? As Catholics, we believe Jesus himself is present in a very real way in the Eucharist. That’s a good place to start.

During my conversion, I read a book called Jesus Shock by philosopher and Catholic convert Peter Kreeft. He argued that only belief in the True Presence could have built such beautiful churches. Only belief in the fact that those churches would be housing the presence of God himself resulted in the aesthetic beauty and astounding architecture of the Basilicas and Cathedrals of the world.

I believe it was Peter Kreeft who also wrote about beautiful churches, and how they help make up for the scandal of the manger. I had never before thought of the manger as scandalous, but our Savior, the God of all things was born into the most humble of places, amidst animal dung and slop. How scandalous indeed. Beautiful churches that house the presence of our living God in the bread and wine provide a much more fitting place for God to reside in the form of the Eucharist. It provides a contrast to the humble state in which Jesus entered the world as man.

Looking Up

At our current parish, there are a number of amazing stained glass windows that let in the light. At certain Masses at certain times of day, the sun shines its light directly through some of them. It is awe inspiring. I find myself often at Mass, throughout the liturgy, looking up.

I think that’s part of the point. Beautiful churches draw our thoughts and minds heavenward. To help us physically and tangibly connect with the heaven-earth intersection that occurs during the Mass. The incense, the music, the vestments, the tabernacle. They all are helpful in this regard, too. We are a body/soul composite. And all those physical components, including the architecture of the church, help frame and focus our minds on the things of God.

Conclusion

My husband and I visited Paris briefly several years back. We toured Notre Dame Cathedral, with the eyes of tourists. Interested in the architecture and history. I never once thought about the Eucharist that entire trip. I hope to be able to go back someday with the eyes of a Catholic. I think I will appreciate it in a way I wasn’t able to before.

Me in front of Notre Dame, circa 2010

Notre Dame, Paris

Because before, when I walked into a Cathedral I saw interesting architecture but was concerned of the financial waste. I walk in now and see love. Love of God and his True Presence in the bread and the wine.

I don’t need to be in a Cathedral to worship, but I appreciate beautiful churches now.

-Lorelei

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Why I Pray To Saints

June 16, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ 5 Comments

Praying to Saints is one of those big dividing lines between the Catholic and Protestant worlds. I was very against it as a Protestant. But what I found as I first began to explore the Catholic faith, is a lot of the confusion stems from different definitions of the same word, and an answer that can be found in Scripture about whether or not those in heaven can hear us at all.

The Meaning of The Word

‘Prayer’ is the word a Protestant uses when they talk to God. There is a connotation of worship when a Protestant uses the word ‘prayer’. This is why, as a Protestant myself, I firmly believed prayer was something reserved for our communication to God alone. I certainly didn’t want to worship anyone other than God, and therefore I wouldn’t be found praying to Saints or to anyone else in heaven.

When a Catholic uses the word ‘prayer,’ and are talking about prayer to God, then yes, we mean the same exact thing.

But I think the misunderstanding stems from a second use of that very same word. Because when a Catholic is “Praying to a Saint,” he or she is asking for someone in heaven to pray for us, just as we would ask a friend at church to pray for us. We are not worshipping Saints, or attributing anything divine to them. But, since they are already in heaven and are without the distractions of this life, Saints are actually great people to intercede on our behalf. Yes, we should and do pray directly to God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. We begin and end all our prayers addressing the Trinity. But, just as we ask our friends on earth to pray for us, so, too, do we ask our friends in heaven.

Can They Hear Us?

This was another big one for me. Okay, sure, if we define Praying to Saints as simply asking for their prayer on our behalf, it isn’t such an odd practice. But, all that is a moot point if those in heaven can’t hear us.

A big scripture for me that addressed this issue was Revelation 5:8.

“Each of the elders held a harp and gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of the holy ones.”

This verse makes it at least clear that those in heaven are aware of our requests to God, as they are holding up the bowls. Whether or not we ask the Saints specifically, I found it inarguable that they know our prayer requests, and also play an active role in presenting them to God. By offering the bowls up, they are in fact interceding for people on earth.

This is not to mention that those throughout all of Early Church history found it acceptable, and good, even, to ask for the intercession of the Saints in heaven. I found myself time and time again on my own personal journey, assenting the Early Church knew what it was doing.

Because of My Weakness

Another reason I pray to Saints is because of my own weakness.

I have three little kids running around at home. I’m often busy, and sometimes overwhelmed. It is really difficult for my brain to simmer down.

But I know the Saints are there. They don’t have those burdens. They can fervently intercede for me while I’m changing the baby, or while I’m at the grocery store, or tending to a scraped knee. I can pray then, too. But I fully admit I am weak in the area of praying without ceasing. All to often, I’m consumed by the task at hand and I simply don’t remember. It is a discipline I know I need to improve. The Saints, I hope, intercede for me on that issue as well. But, in the meantime, I know they are there, and the prayers of the faithful are powerful prayers indeed. I know I am in good hands.

Conclusion

There are many Catholic things I never thought I’d do. I’ll share more on that another time. Praying to the Saints is definitely one of them. But I am so thankful now for the souls in heaven that can intercede for me in my weakness.

I talk to St. Anthony when something is lost. I talk to St. Teresa of Calcutta about social justice issues. I talk to Mary, our Lord’s Mother, about being a mom, and raising kids. And I talk to Jesus about all that stuff too. Because by being Catholic, it isn’t always either or. This is another example of the very awesome Catholic “Both And.”

Just another of the many things I am thankful for as a convert to The Church.

Resources

Praying to Saints

Intercession of the Saints

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Helping Each Other To Heaven (Catholic Stand)

June 13, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ 1 Comment

Hello friends!

Lorelei’s latest article is up on Catholic Stand today!

Helping Each Other To Heaven: A Convert’s Perspective on Catholic Marriage

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Shifting The Seasons

June 1, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ 1 Comment

Merry Christmas! Happy Easter!

I grew up with a whole bunch of Merry Christmases throughout December and a smattering of Happy Easters as the Spring season approached. And, as we all know, the retail stores think Christmas starts somewhere in July, and that Easter starts in January.

For most of my life, and still, for the most part in my world, those holidays are celebrated in the weeks leading up to the actual holiday date.

But all that is changing now that I’m Catholic. We follow the Church calendar, and in the Church calendar… things are shifted. In the liturgical year, the holidays of Christmas and Easter don’t start until the actual day. And then it’s celebrated for days or even weeks after, depending on the holiday.

Because, before Christmas, it isn’t Christmas. It’s Advent. A period of waiting and anticipation. We celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day, and continue celebrating Christmas until we celebrate the feast day of the Baptism of our Lord, which is in January.

And before Easter, it’s Lent. A solumn period of penance, fasting, and reflection. We celebrate Easter starting on Easter Vigil, and for a 40 day period following the Easter holiday. So, we Catholics just recently stopped celebrating the Easter season this year towards the end of May.

In short, these two major holidays don’t match up with when the rest of society celebrates them. And we are waaaay behind retail. Which is fine. Because it isn’t really us that is behind. Retail is waaaay too far ahead.

What It Means For Me

Well, I’m not entirely sure yet. The Savaryn family is still navigating the waters of how we want to celebrate holidays in line with the liturgical calendar.

But, this year, I didn’t take out my Easter decorations until Easter, and then took them down once we finished the Easter season.

However, December is so dark… it would be tough to imagine not putting out the Christmas Tree until Christmas Eve or something. And the tree doesn’t necessarily have as much to do with the religious observance of the holiday anyway. We do have an Advent Calender, which is pretty sweet. But I would like to do more in the future with regard to celebrating all the days of the Christmas season, starting on December 25th. As with Lent this year, we are hoping to slowly add traditions to our family repertoire each year to more fully embrace the richness of observing the holidays as the Church does in our own home.

Following the liturgical calendar is such a mindset shift, especially in how it relates to Christmas and Easter. But I’ve come to appreciate the periods of Lent and Advent, for the anticipation they build, and for the time they offer us to reflect upon the two major events of our religion: the birth and death/resurrection of our Savior. We don’t jump right to the baby in the manger. We wait, with Mary, with the world, for his arrival.

“We don’t jump right to the baby in the manger. We wait, with Mary, with the world, for his arrival.”

We don’t jump right to the empty grave. We acknowledge our role in His suffering. We experience the days and weeks leading up to the Passion of our Savior. We are with him as the time draws near. We are with Him in the garden. In the Upper Room. As He is betrayed. And spending that time in reflection has, helped me appreciate the joy of Easter morning that much more.

Conclusion

So, if in the future you see my decorations out a month after Easter, or, slightly more acceptably, weeks after Christmas, you will know the reason why. Because this new-ish Catholic is moving more towards living life within the beautiful rhythm and cycle of the liturgical calendar. And my life is becoming the richer for it.

-Lorelei

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Celebrating Our Ten Year Wedding Anniversary!

May 29, 2017November 15, 2020 ~ Lorelei Savaryn ~ Leave a comment

Ten years ago, JP and I entered into the Sacrament of Marriage.

Dip n’ Kiss

At our wedding.

And off we go!

We celebrated our anniversary on May 26, 2017. It was a beautiful day, and we are so thankful for each other, and for God growing us in love this past decade. We started the week off by watching our wedding video, and looking at pictures from our relationship, and some of the notes we have given to each other over the years. Turns out back in the day we celebrated “month-versaries” of dating, and got each other a card for each month we had been together. We talk in those cards of all the “memories” we had made in the past one month, or two months, and it’s pretty dorky and funny, but also kind of sweet. Ten years in we now believe we actually do have some great memories together… so feeling pretty legit.

But, without further ado, here are some highlights from the actual anniversary day.

We drove up to Green Bay, which is where much of our early relationship took place, with plans to take the kids to several of our “Love Spots” in the area. We thought it would be good for them to see us celebrate our relationship together for the first part of the day, and it was really cool to have them along, visiting places we never knew we would be bringing our three kids a decade later.

We went to Zesty’s where we had part of our first date, and got ice cream.

One Serious

One Silly

Then the kids sat on the bench where we sat and had one of our first conversations. I remember I had my mom scheduled to call me so I could have an excuse to “bail” in case things weren’t going well. I forget what the code word was, but I clearly didn’t need to use it. I liked the fella’.

20170526_145534 — First Date Bench by the Fox River

We also took the kids to Scray Hill, where JP and I went on a few dates to overlook the lights of the city. It’s also where he proposed at night on a vacant lot, which sounds sketchy, but actually wasn’t. Turns out, the proposal location is still a vacant lot! (Side note: JP does not enjoy selfies, but he humored me with a joyful spirit throughout this part of the day.)

JP went to St. Norbert College in De Pere, and De Pere is where I (Lorelei) grew up. So St. Norbert played a big role in our relationship as well. We took a walk there, also on our first date, and JP cheesily picked me a flower from a bush. Much of our early relationship, looking back, came with a side of cheese. Maybe it does still, cause we went back to that bush and took a picture.

20170526_134544 — JP picked us all a little flower. Yeah… stil cheesy 🙂

About this point in time JP and Lissie start acting a bit fishy. I knew we were planning to visit the church where we got married (which was the Catholic church Old St. Joes on St. Norber’ts campus. How we ended up with a Catholic wedding looooong before I was Catholic is a whole ‘nother story. But was also a grace I didn’t even know I was receiving at the time.)

The time was nigh and JP suggested we head over to the church. Once inside, Lissie looked at me with a smile and said “Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.” I take her, and she admitted Daddy told her to do that to keep me busy for a minute.

We finshed up, and I couldn’t find JP. Turned out he was inside the church, and he asked the kids if they wanted to see what it was like when Mommy and Daddy got married. Then he handed me my actual wedding veil, and a piano player started to play Pachelbel’s Canon in D. (At this point I’m very impressed with my husband.)

He took his spot down the aisle, and the kids ran and took their seats. I walked, once again, to the place where we married each other, and JP, I kid you not, ten years later, had tears in his eyes.

Things looked a littled different from my end than they did ten years ago. First of all, there were two humans who we created sitting by JP. And, my husband was holding our infant daughter as I walked to meet him. It was all surreal and beautiful and very cool.

I figured he would have some sort of love note for me or something, and I turned to smile at the kids. But when I looked back, a Priest had popped out from behind a wall, and he said we were there to affirm our wedding vows.

So we stood, in the empty Church with a Priest and our Children, and affirmed that which we promised to each other ten years ago that day. For richer and poorer, in sickness in health, until death do us part. It was a most wonderful surprise.

20170526_141603 (1) — After our vow renewal.

After that, one set of Grandparents babysat the littles for the evening, and we put the camera away while we went to enjoy a fine bottle of wine and the Chef’s Table at Chives in Green Bay. Highly recommend it, especially for special occasions. We were joined by a good pair of friends, and ended the night with some awkward karaoke.

It was wonderful to be able to spend a day just celebrating all that has happened in this first decade of our marriage, and to realize how far we’ve grown, and how much our love has developed and matured from those early days.

The Sacrament of Marriage has been a huge gift to us. One which I think we are just beginning to really appreciate, and to understand for what it is meant to be. We are both looking forward to what the next decades bring.

-Lorelei